Welcome to the “Men’s Dating Series.”  This series of articles discusses each of the phases men go through when seeking a girlfriend or wife.  This is the outline article.  Following this will be articles with details on each phase.  You will laugh, cry, scream, recognize yourself or your buddy, and learn about the Singles Industry—especially that the Singles Industry is not designed for you to meet someone!

Read here and continue to see why conventional dating fails men in the US.  And guys, what you can do about it!  If you have the ailment called “chronic male singleness” take this and all subsequent articles on this topic, and call us in the morning!

You will be able to escape the not-so-merry-go-’round on the Wheel of Dating Dysfunction.

Part 1: Least Effort

Part 2: Getting Off My Butt

Part 3: Free Online Dating

Part 4: Online Dating– Why Doesn’t a Site Like eHarmony Work?

Part 5: Events Dedicated to Singles

Part 6: Throw Money at the Problem!  Adventure Clubs and Dinner Clubs

Part 7:  I Need Help! or, Coaches

Part 8: Matchmakers and Matchmaking Companies

Part 9: Psychologists and Psychiatrists… and Sex Therapists???

Part 10:  Russian Brides

Specific to Russian Brides (and when I say Russian Brides, I include ladies from Ukraine, Belarus, and other “Former Soviet”/FSU countries) you will see where the fallacious notions of Russian Brides, and the men who pursue them, arise.

Who am I?  I’m a writer with Olga’s Girlfriends.  What qualifies me?  Doctoral research studies involving dating.  Yep, you could actually do that in the 90’s.  Get a PhD in Psychology or Sociology for that, I mean.  I also give you cost/benefit analyses.  See, I’m not just any loudmouth.  I have advanced analytical, mathematical, and logic skills, including professional certifications in each and a resume to match.

So let me make the first bold declaration when it comes to dating and men:

Men are lazy

That isn’t bad.  It just means that they are looking for the least amount of work to generate the desired results is the ideal solution!

What is the “desired result”?  We will consider a relationship destined for long-term dating and marriage, not one-night flings and other salacious satisfactions.  This article series will look at the costs, benefits, cost/benefit analyses and expected ROI of each of these dating and wife-seeking methods.

My writing style is “to you,” because I know this is about you, and not “your friend”

To paraphrase Hans und Franz: “Enough talk.  We’re here to learn!”  So class, sit down and take notes…

Where do I go to find a good woman?

Part 1: Least effort!

• Women I already know
• Women they know
• Friends of Friends (FOF) or friends of family members

You’ve been doing this by default for a long time.  If you had a sister, you lucked out in high school.  Either you were the cute younger brother and had her older girlfriends to adore as you hit puberty, or you had a younger sister and had lots of her friends to learn dating from, trial-and-error style.

College has come and gone.  Maybe your first marriage, too.  When FOF doesn’t work, you start to noticeably not have dates, and you worry.  Or your mother asks, and you have no answer to the question, “Are you seeing anyone?”  And you have incentive because of your upcoming High School Reunion, Holiday Party at work, Best Friend’s Wedding where your ex will be a bridesmaid, etc.  If you are in your twenties, you probably go through your phone book calling all your flames from high school.  You know you did.  As you ended your twenties, you noticed that the world was pairing up fast. The average age of first marriage in the US is 26 for women and 28 for men.  If you’re in your 30’s, you correctly notice your friends are all married, and don’t know anyone single other than “that <expletive deleted> who thinks she can get what she wants by <more deletion> with her boss/ my friend / the ex she stole from me/ etc.”  And your guy friends aren’t allowed to know anyone enticing enough for you, unless his wife thinks she is a threat to their relationship, and this will make for an awful first-meet double-date.

If you’re in your 40’s, your friends have kids!  And you think their schoolteacher is cute; you will never meet her.  (Have you?)  50’s? 60’s?  You may want a younger woman because you want to be excited. There is nothing wrong with that!  But you probably aren’t told that in politically-correct public.  They try to shame you that you’re interested in women your daughter’s age.  Don’t listen to “They.”  “They” aren’t good at math.  “They” don’t care about your interests and life fulfillment.  You aren’t interested in peri-menopausal women; they remind you of your grandmother who may be wonderful but you’ve never thought of her in some particular ways.  Or you may want a woman your age, which is also fine and in which case you are lucky as demographics are finally tilting in your favor.

For the rest of this analysis, let’s assume you want a woman to have a family with, or be a good mother for your kids.  Those are the men I want to work with anyway.

To summarize, regarding the Easy-pickin’s Friends of Friends/Family method:

Benefit: Easy.  Works for men under-30 and over 60

Cost: Diminishing returns accelerates after 30.  Opportunities dry up fast.

Cost/Benefit Analysis: If you’re 30+, this will be increasingly ineffective until you’re 60 and in the retirement set. If you want a family, get ready for the next step!

Well, time to put down the phone and get off the couch.  In other words, “Men’s Dating Series, Part 2: Getting Off My Butt” next.